So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
