She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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