I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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