I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
