a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
