Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
