it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
