Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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