Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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