So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
