this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
