I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
