There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
