I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
