weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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