I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
