I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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