YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize