1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Do you still have your period?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
