Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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