I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
