im drinking this country out of the recession.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
