Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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