so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
