I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
