Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize