Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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