what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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