fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
When did angry sex become our thing?
A+ Viking dick
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
