is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
