Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
