That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
