it hurts more in the daytime
I wish i was in the wii world.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
foreskin is a definite game changer
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
