Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
