you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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