i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize