She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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