I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize