there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
