Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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