i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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