alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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