I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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