what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
