that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
