Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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