in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
