I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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