no, he came in my armpit
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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