this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
