Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
