Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
