Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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