Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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