dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
