i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
