well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize