Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
