Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This baby is an asshole
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
