She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize