You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
my poor anus
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
