I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
