Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
