last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
