Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
