my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We just shotgunned beers for America
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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