I faked an abortion last night.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
