my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
