he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
