I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
