almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
