You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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