I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
