At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize