I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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